I was messing around with a photo editing program and I found this old pic I took a while ago. I was posing for a Sith Lord inspired look. I decided to attribute this to my blog. The Short Lived Legacy...
There is nothing more taboo to vulcans than discussing Pon Farr, the blood fever. Pon Farr describes a state of intense sexual tension and unbridled lust. Its a condition where a logical mind is consumed by passion, and becomes savage. Pon Farr only occurs every 7 years for vulcans. When it does happen, they must take a mate immediately, within a few days, or die from the fever. It can be a very painful death if they are not relieved from it. Humans can also contract a sexual fever, although the results aren't as drastic. The concepts of Pon Farr were based on real human conditions. This fever is a state of heightened ecstasy. The blood in the body becomes warm and starts to circulate rapidly. The heart beats faster. Pupils tend to dilate. Breathing becomes heavier. The sense of touch is magnified at least 3x the normal sense. The mind becomes uninhibited. Thoughts move rapidly and can cloud the mind. This fever is usually caused by constant arousal, but not always sexual. The difference between this fever and Pon Farr is that it does not require the person to relieve themselves sexually. It can easily be ended through sleep.
No school today. How wonderful. I was able to sleep longer than usual, which gave me time to dream. Mmm I smell cookies. How weird... Yes, I dreamed of magical cookies. Magical cookies that enabled the eater to see beyond what is normal. The cookies gave telekinetic powers and access into any desired mind. Obtaining cookies like these did come with a price. The Dark Prince offered to give me three cookies in exchange for betraying my lover, Astiavou. Would I take such an offer? I think not. I refused it. What happened next? The Dark Prince cursed me with a slugav spell. This spell slowed all possible movements in my body, which weakened my reflexives and power of flight. Could it get any worse? Of course... Astiavou betrayed me. He swore allegiance to The Dark Prince in exchange for the magical cookies. What a jerk. After all I did for him, sparing his life and all. I should have ended him when I had the chance and took the cookies. So anyway, The Dark Prince left with Astiavou at his side, carrying the magic cookies, while I was left in the forest to die. I sure hope this is a continuing dream! I want a better ending. Maybe I'll get one tomorrow.
I have fallen in love. I wish I didn't. These feelings are killing me. I gave too much of myself and had not received the same amount of devotion. I shouldn't be complaining. Its selfish of me. I feel that communication with my loved one is being severed. That's what hurts the most. For months I have been in constant communication with my love until recently. Things started to slow down between us. I wanted more from him than I deserved. We played games, talked life, shared experiences. He was being generous but it came to an end. I got so caught up into it that I'm suffering from a communication withdrawal. No texts, no calls, no emails, no updates. I stare at my phone for hours during the day. Nothing. I hold my phone while I sleep, just in case I might receive a late night text. Nothing. You might wonder, why don't I text him if I miss him? I figured, if he really wanted to communicate with me, he would. I am tired of forcing myself on him. The situation is unrequited. Unrequited love. I expected this in the beginning. That it would end this way. I feel hurt. I regret allowing myself to have these feelings. It always ends this way.
I am suffering. I can feel myself letting go. Letting go of what? I don't even know. My thoughts are clouded. I am regretting too many things. I regret allowing myself to form emotional connections with people. I regret loving. I regret it because I get too attached to those I bond with. I hate drawing attention to myself but I desire affection. I desire to mingle my blood with those whom I care for. This desire for intimacy with personal friends has become an affliction. I fear getting too close. I fear that if I get too attached, I might not be able to let go. I don't want to waste my time on accepting people into my life when it will be in vain. My relationships tend to end tragically. I am accursed. I love too hard. My emotions work against me. I doubt any friend I encounter will love me with as much passion and devotion as I bestow on them.
"Consumed by lust." I can feel myself being drawn into Rothbart. He surrounds me constantly. He wants to seduce me. He has vexed me. I've tried to stay away from him. I can't. "I want you Odile", He would say when we're alone. "I want to feel you. I want to feel you from the inside. " I am tempted by his lust. I want to feel him too. But I fear him. I fear he will possess me. Every time I see him, I sense his pulse. I look at his eyes and see fire. A passionate gaze. My eyes trace down to his neck, where I see his pulsing veins. His hot blood. I look at him and I feel a burning in my body. A raging fire. I stare at him. I find peace in his gaze. "You want me right? I know you do. I can feel it. Embrace it. The burning in your body, your chest, your loins... The fire in your heart. Release it. I will release you, Odile."
