On A Side Note: Accursed

I am suffering. I can feel myself letting go. Letting go of what? I don't even know. My thoughts are clouded. I am regretting too many things. I regret allowing myself to form emotional connections with people. I regret loving. I regret it because I get too attached to those I bond with. I hate drawing attention to myself but I desire affection. I desire to mingle my blood with those whom I care for. This desire for intimacy with personal friends has become an affliction. I fear getting too close. I fear that if I get too attached, I might not be able to let go. I don't want to waste my time on accepting people into my life when it will be in vain. My relationships tend to end tragically. I am accursed. I love too hard. My emotions work against me. I doubt any friend I encounter will love me with as much passion and devotion as I bestow on them.