The Confession: Elementary Beginnings (Girls:Terror's Reign)

The never ending nightmare of lost causes. Twelve years ago I was at the battlefront of anti-feminism. I hated the concept of feminism and females. True, at that time I had many misconceptions. But that didn't stop me from looking down on what I thought was "mankind's misery plea"... In those days, girls were the reason for all my problems. I was a girl but subconsciously I didn't want to admit it. Girls seemed to be agents of chaos. They controlled the social order and structure of elementary school. They traveled in packs like ravenous wolves. They pawned boys. They pawned teachers. If you weren't in a pack, you were outcasted from elementary school society. When I was seven years old, I was outcasted completely. Several girls tried to get me to join their pack, but I refused them. I didn't want to get involved in any rivalries, lest I get beat up by enemy packs. For some time I exhibited machismo behavior and formed alliances with several boys. All of them betrayed me, at the will of the girls. This was the beginning of my loner days. Elementary school was the hardest for me because I was young and my mind, body, and attitudes were still developing. I needed to place the blame for all my pain on something, so I chose the females. They did the most damage to me, psychologically. I was beaten and slapped around by boys, but the girls got to my soul. They hated me because I refused to conform to their whorish and ignorant ideologies. I refused to be like them. I on the contrary was a good girl. I was innocent and displayed my innocence. I was a serious and diverse student. I was confident. They came at me with a vengeance. I was seven years old and in second grade when I received their ultimate punishment. A group of girls decided I was too innocent and happy to be around so they came up with an elaborate plot to darken my nature. "Sex is a powerful weapon." In those innocent days before second grade, I had known nothing of sexuality or the powerfully dark side of sexual intent. The whores decided I needed a lesson to humble my good spirits. First they drilled my mind with filth, force feeding the laws of sin. They brutalized my mind. Next they assaulted my body. Sexually overtoned physical attacks. All of this left deep emotional scars. At a point in their attacks, I broke down. My mind was never the same. By third grade, I lost all boldness. I still stayed away from all crowds. I didn't talk to anyone much. I started to display a mousy and shy behavior. No more machismo. No more innocence. No more confidence. My mind was ruined and became darker. I found it hard to think positively. I had no place in that world, so I created my own. This was the beginning of my psychosis. No boy or girl was close to me. I remained a friendless loner for the next six years after.