What did I survive? Other than the impending chaotic disaster of hurricane Irene and her tornado brethren, I gave in to a heavy load of homemade cooking (lemon jerked chicken with cut potatoes, sweet potatoes with cinnamon, and fresh and chunky pico de gallo), all eaten at 1:33am... So the story goes like this: I had intended with all earnestness to break off a relationship that I felt would be doomed in the future. I lacked faith for the first time in my life. I attempted a txt breakup (bad idea) and came on pretty strong until he tried to call me... And that's when I broke down in my resolve. Just hearing his voice made tears come to my eyes (men can do that to you). I felt horrible, so horrible that I couldn't justify my actions. He probably was right in suggesting I was rash and impulsive. I don't know how to fix the situation now.
It’s funny how I went on a trip after that episode last night. After eating such a late meal I started to see swirls and pocadots of colors. I went online to check his blog and everything was gone. Just a blank page that had the word silent in it and I went on another trip, Japanese horror style. At the end of that I had a pretty strange dream ... It was in the future and I was doing some ecology research on these huge tortoises that could levitate and ate strange seaweed. Then I went to a banquet dinner with some of my colleagues and we talked more on the environment and invasive species that affected the tortoise’s habitat. Afterward someone gave me a picture album from 3 years ago and I looked beautiful, rather skinny too. As in this future I appeared to gain weight and have stress wrinkles as I buried myself in my job. Then I woke up, feeling like the dream was overly intellectual. The conversations were so logical and scientific that it scared me. I hope I dream about studying for bio exams like this in the future...
After waking up I immediately went to the kitchen and prepared me a heavy, but proportional meal of leftovers, except I substituted rice and beans for the sweet potatoes. I once again checked his blog and still no sign of life. Things got worse when he said everything was fine. He said his posts were still there, which made me realize I had been blocked not by him, but by karma. After what I had thought and done, I did not deserve to read his thoughts or share in his life. The perfect punishment.
0 comments:
Post a Comment